10th June

“so today we played ‘how to lose the ball in the middle of a field of short grass’ – I needed to employ all the best techniques to get the Boss out of bed this morning…. stretching with a loud scratch to finish…. throwing myself on the floor in such a way it banged the bed…. (several of those) , yawning very loudly, the stare. The stare is very effective…. you stand about a nose length from your owners face and stare until they open their eyes – then you go in for the sniff – I do not recommend the lick, they don’t like it. This morning I had to resort to both paws on the chest and sticking my nose in his ear ….. that made him throw off the bed clothes. ‘Where’sLez’ asked if he was alright, and said very sleeping “shall I take him?” and went back to sleep. Then we went to South wheal Frances and my favorite field because the tide is in at the beach this morning. I chased and ran as usual then I lay in the grass soaking up the dew and watched the ball roll past into the fog. Boss told me to look for it……”where’sthe Ball?” he kept saying….. Well I thought it is somewhere….so I looked in the sky in case a bird had taken it and then I looked on the other side of the field…… then I checked the chukka and finally I lay in the dew again and looked hopeful in case the ball would suddenly remember that I needed it and come of its own accord…… The boss said their previous dog, Arlo would run around sniffing until he found it and would even dive into gorse bushes to get a ball….. I am not stupid….. its just that my nose does not work that way and bushes can hurt……. He found the ball eventually….. as you can see from the photos…….
 
 
 
 
 

11th June

Another misty one….. there is a fox walking along the hedge – one of the times I wish I had a long lens… but by the time you attach it the moment would be gone anyway- Barney had a lie in until 5:30 this morning….. he just lay next to the bed indulging in percussive competition licking which sounded like the repetitive slapping ow waves on a rowing boat- or my grandfather when he stropped his razor…… but it did mean I got an extra half hour for which I am grateful. Barney is not writing this morning – he is exhausted from yesterday and his have a snooze after this morning’s chase the ball around Wheal Bassett
May be an image of grass and nature
 

9th June 

no I did not wade in a stream….. this was the foggy foggy dew! A real “misty moisty morning when cloudy was the weather….” we walked two and a half miles around the field….. when I say we of course I mean I…… Barney did four times that chasing the ball….. and is now dozing and dreaming of cats.
 
 
 
 
 

Barney’s diary yesterday evening,” The Boss opened the back door for my mid-evening check on the garden and there…. there before my eyes, creeping over the wall of the fish pond was black cat! It saw me! I saw it! It ran, it scatted and it fled up the garden. I did not bark, I did not make a sound I just used my training with the ball and chased, I was like the wind, like whispering death to cats….. the cat tried to climb the wood up the side of the shed….. twice before it ran behind the greenhouse, up the bug hotel that “where’sLez” made, knocked off a bowl of marbles in a water-bowl put for bees to drink from scattering them everywhere and ran up the fig tree where it stayed for the next hour. Job done, I go my ball ready for some more training….The Boss was pleased, I am a good boy, I protected the fish…. and the garden birds….. I like chasing cats…… but they look a bit furry to eat….. I prefer biscuits….. you can see the cat up the tree, I was very pleased with myself. I wonder if it will come back to play…..?

 

 

Wednesday 9th 

Barney’s diary yesterday evening,” The Boss opened the back door for my mid-evening check on the garden and there…. there before my eyes, creeping over the wall of the fish pond was black cat! It saw me! I saw it! It ran, it scatted and it fled up the garden. I did not bark, I did not make a sound I just used my training with the ball and chased, I was like the wind, like whispering death to cats….. the cat tried to climb the wood up the side of the shed….. twice before it ran behind the greenhouse, up the bug hotel that “where’sLez” made, knocked off a bowl of marbles in a water-bowl put for bees to drink from scattering them everywhere and ran up the fig tree where it stayed for the next hour. Job done, I go my ball ready for some more training….The Boss was pleased, I am a good boy, I protected the fish…. and the garden birds….. I like chasing cats…… but they look a bit furry to eat….. I prefer biscuits….. you can see the cat up the tree, I was very pleased with myself. I wonder if it will come back to play…..?
 
 
 
 

Tuesday 8th June

a rather lovely morning for a walk and a few snaps…. Barney the barmy Border Collie thinks….”Somewhere in those pictures are the two balls I lost today and one was bright pink…… but I dropped it over a ledge into brambles – maybe the rabbits will play with it. I saw rabbits today but I don’t chase rabbits, they don’t bounce like a ball does. I saw two joggers too- one ran straight at me while I was off my lead….. but only wanted my ball. It took an hour to get them out of bed today and we did not get to the carpark till nearly 6 , but I did not have to go on my lead….. until going back to the car Ian I thought about chasing a distant lorry…… but to be fair I was bored because we did not have the spare tennis ball…. I nosed that off the path and it disappeared….. maybe the rabbits will like that one too.
 
 
 
 
 
Monday 7th June – the beast is lying in disgrace under the dining room table this morning post walk…. (or post -drag) – a reversion to some past bad behaviour on the lead so I am letting him no-where near the comments today!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Barney thinks he might quite like playing frizbee after all
 
 
 
 
 

This page is  a collection of social media posts for Barney the collie’s fan club and puts his morning musings into one place with some pictures. (Newest posts at the top of the page- oldest at the bottom!) 

Sunday 6th June ” It was nearly six-a-woofing-clock by the time I dragged him out of the house this morning……. I did wake him up in the usual manner at 4:40 but he made me go in the garden…. I marked a bush and then lay in the dew until I was allowed to come back in….. I went to the front door and put on my best pleading eyed look but he went back to bed! I tried a again…. but I just got the “No- not yet – lie down… LIE DOWN!!” so I did for five minutes at a time till we finally went out. I don’t mind the wet, it keeps me cool and I get the drying at the other end which I like….. but the Boss kept muttering about feeling damper inside his waterproofs than outside… I don’t understand humans……. then when he got home he had a shower and made himself wet….. weird! But I brought my ball to him in case he needed to play……… “
 
 
 
 
  
 
 

Saturday 5th May:

The boss finally put a foot out of the bed just before five o’clock after much effort on my part from stretching and noisy yawning to finally planting my feet on his chest and poking my nose in his ear – I nibbled the foot! He went for a shower while I got Where’sLez up then when I thought she was up I went to guard the bathroom.
There was no sunshine on the beach this morning although the metal detectorist was busy digging holes when we got there….. and some holidaymakers were having a last walk with their dog before setting off home…. I don’t have to set off home…… its only 8 minutes away and I come a lot when the tide is right…. The Boss spent some time taking a photograph of a stone that looked like a slate table….. but it did not have food or my ball on it so I just made sure I got in the picture….. then we played stand-off with the ball….. that is where I lie down and pretend I don’t know where the ball is so they will go and pick it up…… but they don’t and eventually I have to go and get it and bring it really close if I want to play…… I was a good boy today….. they told me so….. even on my lead….. but I did not see any tasty cats or mobility scooters….
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Friday June 4th: Barney the Border Collie reporting: Where’sLez had a lie in this morning while I took the boss to the beach – he said it was chilly and kept putting his hands in his pockets but my paws were warm on the sand- I dont like it hot anyway! We found some flowers on the tideline- they looked rather sad and the Boss wondered who they were for…… but he threw the ball for me while he thought about it so it was ok. Then we saw a dog who was running out into the waves to get a ball….. stupid thing, he does not realise that the waves are just waiting to get you…… that’s why I bite them…. you have to let them know who’s boss and stop them swallowing you. There was a jogger on the beach – he got in the way of the ball a couple of times but I was patient and waited for the ball…… yesterday in the garden the Boss tried to make me play with a frizbee….. so I ignored it…… even when it landed on my head….. I just went back into the house and got another ball….. then he tried a football and put my ball away……. so I went and got another small ball….. I know my place….. small ball, chase, bring it and chase again……. oh…… and herding grandchildren…… they have been coming to visit, sometimes with a friend….. I teach them to play ball….. sometimes they are good at it.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
June 3rd Barney reports- an hour and a half on the beach today….. it changed while we were there and I did some flying- you can see the photograph! Some people came on the beach, one man had a big black dog…. I could not understand why the dog was on his own at one end of the beach while the man plodded about at the other end looking at his phone….. my boss and Where’sLez come to the beach to play with me. I lost the ball once but the boss was taking pictures of some old bits of wood sticking out of the rocks…. he said it was an old jetty whatever a jetty is…… I think jetty describes my speed across the sand…. and my specialist vertical take off…… I jumped at the man up the road when we got back to the house – he stopped to talk so I gave him a Barney special friendly greeting…… he was alright about it… but I was in disgrace till I lay on my back and employed my sad eyes look while I was dried……
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Barney reporting June 2nd “Happy Birthday to Me….. they sang to me on my way to the beach- I thought about howling to join in but I didn’t I am saving howling to join in with the Bassett cockerel next time I’m there. The sea was boring today…… it just slopped about at the end of the beach- it was being lazy and there was nothing to chase…. just my ball. The boss found a football, he said it was a good football but I dint like it… I like my ball. The boss said his back was a bit damp, something about seams….. I dont have seams….. but I carry my coat everywhere and then shake it out on the wall paper of rub it on the carpet until Where’sLez grabs a big towel and dries me……. there might be a dog-sausage to distract me at lunch time…. here’s hoping! Barney over and out.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Collie and sausage – He found the sausage just before lunchtime and spent the rest of the day playing with it off and on….. chasing it, throwing it….. and finally ate half of it mid evening and put the rest in his bed for later.
Border Collie with a sausage
 

June 1st:

Barney the Collie: “Well the beach was good this morning, some holidaymakers had put up a pile of stones that I could mark as MY territory – the beach is MINE there was no one else there for ages! ‘Where’sLez’ wore her beach sandals and paddled and tried to get me to go in further- I didn’t – I’m a clever boy – those waves will get you if you are not careful. I was right! She got wet legs! I got wet too but the boss kept taking pictures of me trying to shake instead of throwing the ball…… other dogs came but I did not care and after 90 minutes we headed back to the car. Now…… to be fair….. I dont think I have seen a mobility scooter before …. and it did turn towards me and it did bleep so THEY said I let myself down by barking and lurching up on my lead which I have not done for ages…. the lady smiled…. I barked. I should have known really, they were grumpy when I tried to get them up at ten past four and got sent back to bed. I shall have to watch my step today……… now where’s my ball I need it for the garden…..”
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

31st May:

Barney’s musings “I went to bed early last night before while they were watching “The West Wing”….. I have seen it before – there are no wings in it and nothing to chase,,,, so I went to bed so I could be up early. The birds were singing at quarter past four so I tried the subtle wake up…. getting out of bed and shaking hard so my collar rattled a bit….. then a long stretch with a bit of of squeak…. nothing much but enough t bring one of them round. Then walk around the bed leaning on it so it tugs the duvet….. the Boss told me to lie down and it was not time…. so I lay down… I’m a good dog. a bit later I was sure it was time so I sat next to his head and wagged then I put my paws up so I could sniff his ear, I like ears, I really like ears… and sniffing….. that woke them both up.
A bit later we got to the beach and the walk from the car I tried really really hard not to pull – I did not quite manage it – I was toooooooo excited but I braked every time the lead went tight and The Boss told me I was good…. so I tried hard again. On the beach I ran and ran and ran and ran and chased and ran …… and then I tried to give the ball to the waves to play with but they did not want it they kept spitting it back up the beach so I bit them…… I bit them hard……. I think I need a snack and a nap after Where’sLez has dried me… I like being dried…… but not as much as my ball.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
30th May: Barney: ” Had a lie in this morning till 4:50 then the boss turned over, obviously an invitation and he needed my attention…. breathing and sniffing in his ear seemed to do the trick and he looked much better! Then he wasted good beach time under the shower- I don’t like showers of water on me but I like lying on the bathroom floor in case people having a shower need me. ‘Where’sLez’ sent me out in the garden but I really wanted strokes, and walks well mainly walks. I was good in the car but my brain could not work about the not pulling on the lead thing at the beach – the sea air fogs me and it makes me come to it…. but I did try I really did. On the beach I lost my old blue tatty rubber ball and had to have a tennis ball which is not as tasty- it has fluff! Then a dog called Shadow came to play with the waves with me. The waves are braver than trains they do not run away and keep coming back for more……. Shadow couldn’t keep up although he tried…. I was better on the lead back to the car but I was too tired to think and had a lie down on the way home….. More lying down after breakfast…. but I am looking forward to bothering the boss with a ball when he is trying to ZOOM the Sunday service later…. “
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

29th May:  ” Had a lie in this morning till 4:50 then the boss turned over, obviously an invitation and he needed my attention…. breathing and sniffing in his ear seemed to do the trick and he looked much better! Then he wasted good beach time under the shower- I don’t like showers of water on me but I like lying on the bathroom floor in case people having a shower need me. ‘Where’sLez’ sent me out in the garden but I really wanted strokes, and walks well mainly walks. I was good in the car but my brain could not work about the not pulling on the lead thing at the beach – the sea air fogs me and it makes me come to it…. but I did try I really did. On the beach I lost my old blue tatty rubber ball and had to have a tennis ball which is not as tasty- it has fluff! Then a dog called Shadow came to play with the waves with me. The waves are braver than trains they do not run away and keep coming back for more……. Shadow couldn’t keep up although he tried…. I was better on the lead back to the car but I was too tired to think and had a lie down on the way home….. More lying down after breakfast…. but I am looking forward to bothering the boss with a ball when he is trying to ZOOM the Sunday service later…. “

 
 
 
 
 

28th May: “I thought, if I stare long enough, then throw myself down next to the bed so the floor shakes and it makes a loud noise and then run backwards and forwards around the bed at half past four they would get up and take me for a walk. The boss didn’t move but ‘Where’sLez’ opened her eyes and I took my chance with my morning dance skipping round in circles…. but she only made me go in the garden…. it’s not the same. I went and checked on the other one…. he just pointed a phone at me, took a picture and pretended to go back to sleep. I tried charging up and down the stairs as quietly as I could to get some exercise and then made the mistake of putting paws on the bed…… oops! We finally got out and we almost missed the six o’clock train in the park which comes every day at the same time so I can chase it….. and then again half an hour later- I think it likes me chasing it though it never stops to play….. The boss told me I couldn’t multi-task whatever that means…. just because if I see the train I forget the ball…. well to be fair I forget the ball if I see a seagull and I forget not not pull on the lead if I see a suspicious looking crisp packet……. I don’t think the boss is very pleased with me today….. but there’s always later…he’ll forget and we can have another go- maybe there will be more treats this time….. “

   
“When we got home ‘WheresLez’ had gone back to sleep so I was kind and waited a bit until she got up and had a shower….. than I saw my chance and wrapped myself in her towel while she was drying her feet…. after all she likes to dry me….. I cant see why her towel is different to mine…. except that mine is a bit muddy and has a few holes….”
 
 

28th May

Barney’s thoughts for the morning, “I tried something new today…. but it didn’t work. Sometimes I just lay down looking at the ball like I would with a sheep maybe….. but the boss wouldn’t pick it up!! In fact he put my lead on every time I did not bring the ball back and we did the weird zig zag lead training. Do you know I spent 5 whole minutes walking different ways around the goal posts…. but I was told I was a good boy so I must have done something right…. I like being told I am a good boy. I chased the train but it was a coward and ran away so I gave up and went back to the ball. A little dog came to play for a bit- she liked the ball too so I let her play but she cant run like the wind like me!! On the way home I was very good apparently…. something about loose lead….. but I did not like all the recycling bags hanging from the gate posts- they looked like they might jump out and get me…. but it was alright at home -“where’s Lez” was there with my water and food and a towel to dry me….. I like being dried……. now time for a nap……”

27th May

Cool in the Fairfield this morning, I breathed smoke like a dragon, I was fierce and chased two trains but they ran away. The boss said my lead walking was much better but I was not interested in treats at all today- I just wanted the ball and to work . I like work .

26th May 

Redruth Fairfield was the location for the walk but I did not take pictures…. we worked too hard. Barney thinks…..”Well that was a funny hour and I am exhausted! We went to the Fairfield where I chased the ball a lot as usual but every now and again I had to have my lead on and was not allowed to move anywhere I pulled….. and if I didn’t pull we went in circles or zig zags…. but I got lots of treats. Once I saw a cat…. it looked very tasty….. I pulled…… and I didn’t get a treat then. Off the lead I did run along the path beside the train but it was too fast even for me! “

this morning was damp….. not to say wet and I  chased the ball in the park….. and headed up to Wheal Euny where the bright orange ball was nosed into a gorse and nettle bush and forever lost …… the boss couldn’t find it and I wasn’t going into a gorse bush – they hurt. The downside was lots of lead walking is promised for the rest of the week I may have forgotten how I am supposed to behave on the lead… its not my fault!! That’s my excuse and I am sticking to it.”

Around wheal Frances this morning where someone had thoughtfully provided a puddle for me to drink after chasing the ball for nearly an hour. I don’t know why the boss keeps putting my lead on and walking in different directions every time I get going… but at least I get a treat if I focus on him rather than the grass, shadows, birds, thing that twinkle, rabbits, a ball, but I just like everything!… there might be time for a nap until the Bosche man comes to repair the washing machine then I can play jump!”

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
+5
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
“We were back on the beach this morning – it is dog heaven! and…and…. and…. I chased the ball, and chased the waves and I did not chase the two runners and I did not chase the surfer and and and I didn’t react to cars on the way back.”