January 7thA Tale of Two Funerals - You Can't Please Everybody All of the Time... So 34 years in Lay Ministry and now18 months of funeral ministry and there is always something to learn, not just from texts, conversations and courses but from the ‘job’ itself. I have taken two funerals in the last 7 days which were hugely contrasting. Today’s funeral at Treswithian Downs Crematorium was packed with standing room only for a popular lady who had died of cancer over the Christmas period after a two year struggle. I was requested as minister as I had taken the funeral for her mother nine months ago and knew the family. The funeral director sent me the details with the chosen music etc. and I arranged a visit to gather information. I arrived with time to pray for the family and to greet guests and it went very smoothly, and I was in my comfort zone, if a little nervous as always. Afterwards I spoke to the immediate family and then slipped away leaving the huge group of people to chat with each other. Job done!This was a far cry from the previous week which I count as the least satisfactory of all the funerals I have done when, being in my own church, it really should have been the opposite. The deceased was a lovely, serene and faithful member of the congregation until a combination of health issues and the infirmity of age took her to residential care, complicated in the last few years with the visiting problems around the Covid Pandemic. I have an indelibly stamped image of her white hair and generous smile in the fifth pew from the front- so it was a huge privilege to be asked to do the funeral service. I had been asked a year ago if I would do it when the time came.I was reassured that it was to be an unfussy commemoration which suited me well and I prepared in my usual prompt meticulous way agreeing everything with the family early on – even the words of the eulogy /address. The screen in church would have a slide show and pictures would be sent and reflective music was chosen and stored as MP3 files ready to use the church sound systemNow in hindsight I should have realised that it was going to be a tough one when the funeral directors, instead of sending me the letter of details as the person taking it, instead sent to the PTO priest who had been added at the suggestion of the Funeral Director. My name was a handwritten addition. It is no wonder we lay ministers feel somewhat second class but that’s Anglican life. I should add at this point that I get on really well with the PTO priest and the funeral director -and they are lovely people, but they have a huge (and daunting) fund of knowledge and experience and a different vision and style to me, so this became an exercise in…